Feeling sexy has little to do with, well, sex. But there are a lot of things you can do to boost your confidence in the bedroom.
For example, ramp up the naughty volume—men love moans, groans and screams of pleasure. And don’t forget to use a sex pillow. This will give you deeper penetration.
Dress for the occasion.
Taking your outfit to bed with you is an easy way to boost sex appeal. Swapping out your baggy T-shirts for a silky chemise or replacing the flannel PJs with a pair of high-waisted satin pants is one simple change that can make a huge difference. Wearing your best nightwear is not only sexy but it can help you feel confident, too. Trying new positions and foreplay tricks is another good way to keep things fresh. When sex becomes monotonous, try watching a porn movie together as foreplay or introduce a new sex toy to spice things up. It’s fun to surprise your partner with something unexpected that gives them a rush.
Use arousal gel.
Arousal gels increase oxygen flow and sensitivity to the genital area, making your vaginal area feel more awake and alive. And they’re super easy to use. Just massage a thin layer into your vulva or penis before you slip between the sheets. It can take a few minutes for the effects to kick in, but they’re sure to get your partner going—and they’ll last for about twenty minutes, according to the experts we spoke with.
The best part? These formulas are available at drugstores and supermarkets, sex toy stores, and online without a prescription. Just be sure to check the label and avoid those with oil (which can break down latex condoms and silicone toys within 30 seconds) as well as any ingredients you might be sensitive to, like menthol or damiana.
And while it might sound counterintuitive, arousal gel can be used in conjunction with other bedroom tricks to enhance your sexual experience even more. Try playing a turn on movie while you’re rubbing the gel into your vulva and watch what happens!
Talking dirty is an easy way to turn the heat up in bed. But it’s important to remember that the same lines don’t always work the same way on everyone. They can be incredibly sexy when used with the right partner, but can also come across as creepy or even fetishistic when said in the wrong situation.
Luckily, there are a few ways to make your sexual chatter more seductive:
For starters, think about how you’re saying it. You don’t need to shout it out loud, but whispering some of these sexy phrases into your lover’s ear could be all they need to take things up a notch. Also, pay attention to your tone, as a deep and sensuous sound can be just as seductive as the words themselves. You can also try moaning, slapping their thigh, or breathing heavily into their ear to add a little extra spice to your conversation.
Keep the lights on.
The bedroom should be a sexy place to relax with your partner, not a dump for dirty laundry and unused gym equipment. Keep the clutter at bay, and you’ll instantly feel more ready for romance.
Nothing kills a libido faster than stress. If the idea of a romantic evening is drained by thoughts of work, family or past trauma, try taking some time to relax and clear your head.
Men are very visual learners, so show him exactly how you like it. Use your body language to convey pleasure, and he’ll be eager to take things up a notch.
For an added erotic twist, start making love while keeping all your clothes on. Then, each time you remove an article of clothing, make him wait a full minute before he can go for the next one. This will build his excitement until he finally gets to strip and get down to business. Make sure you give him a chance to touch you, too, to create even more sensual pleasure. Singing in the shower, whispering sexy compliments and moving your lips in a seductive grin are all great foreplay.
Act out your wildest fantasy.
Every woman has a list of fantasies that make them feel sexy. These may seem naughty or inappropriate but they’re usually safe and consensual. So go ahead and explore yours and then act them out with your partner.
You can also use your mouth to play with him in ways you’ve never tried before. For example, licking his tongue, lips and teeth can be a turn on for some men, says Garrison. Grabbing sensitive areas like his rib cage with your fingers can also be exciting.
If sex gets boring, try to introduce new things to spice it up. For instance, use a sex pillow that lets you have deeper penetration. Or you could try a new sex position or even a new location such as up against a tree, in the back seat of his car or in a shower.
And if you want to take it to the next level, whisper a sexy compliment in his ear and see him work twice as hard for you. It’s amazing what a little ego-boosting can do.