Like any emotion, jealousy can take a variety of forms. But assuming that you’ve established a level of trust, it can be a useful tool for identifying what’s important to you in your relationship.
For example, if you feel jealous of your partner’s success, it could be a sign that you need more reassurance or attention from them.
1. Don’t ruminate on it
While the idea of an open or polyamorous relationship may seem exciting and liberating, jealousy can still be a big hurdle for many people to overcome. Jealousy is often a sign of insecurity, and can stem from fear of abandonment or a feeling that one’s partner doesn’t value them.
While it is important to recognize and address jealousy, it can also be helpful to remember that ruminating on your emotions will only magnify them. Instead, try to take a step back and see what exactly you’re feeling. Write down your thoughts, feelings and fears in detail and explore the root cause of these feelings. Once you identify the source of your jealousy, it’s easier to address and deal with.
It is also important to remember that jealousy is a normal emotion that everyone experiences. It is not something to be ashamed of, and it’s actually a good thing! Jealousy is a natural human reaction to uncertainty, and it can help us become more aware of our own needs in relationships.
While it is important to remember that jealousy is a natural emotion, it is also important to set clear boundaries and communicate your needs clearly with your partner. It is also important to be patient with yourself, as overcoming jealousy can be a long process. However, by focusing on your own self-confidence and setting clear boundaries, you will find that your jealousy will subside over time.
2. Focus on your own self-confidence
Jealousy is a complex emotion that can assume many forms. Whether you are in a monogamous relationship and have to deal with jealousy in the future, or are already open/poly and need to tackle it now, it’s important to keep jealousy coping techniques in your back pocket.
One of the best things you can do is focus on your own self-confidence. This is because jealousy is often fueled by feelings of insecurity or fear of abandonment. Jealousy can be especially challenging to handle in an open relationship because you may be more exposed to your partner’s other romantic and sexual partners.
It’s also helpful to understand that jealousy is a natural and normal human reaction. It’s just that in certain situations and relationships, it can manifest in ways that are harmful to the health of a partnership.
When you’re feeling a wave of jealousy, try writing about it to help deconstruct it. What’s more, it’s important to be able to distinguish between the different feelings you are experiencing. Jealousy is a mix of emotions, and it can manifest as anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, paranoia, envy, coveting, etc. Identifying what you’re really feeling can be the first step in working through it.
3. Set clear boundaries
Jealousy is triggered by the fear that your partner will take away something from you or be intimate with someone else. This feeling is normal, whether you’re monogamous or non-monogamous. The difference is in how you approach it, and how your partner responds to your feelings. Using clear boundaries and discussing them openly with your partner can help you overcome jealousy and move on from it.
One of the biggest mistakes people in open relationships make is letting jealousy fester without communicating about it, or allowing their partner to ignore or brush off their concerns. This is a recipe for resentment and distance. If you’re unable to work through the jealousy with your partner, consider seeking out a counselor who specializes in polyamorous couples.
In the meantime, you can try to understand what’s triggering your jealousy. What’s it about your partner’s behavior that rubs you the wrong way? For example, maybe their cuddling their other partners or their habit of posting about their hookups on social media makes you feel insecure. Taking some time to reflect on your feelings can help you figure out what the root of the problem is.
Once you have a better understanding of your emotions, it’s easier to communicate them clearly with your partner. It may help to break down the jealousy into its component parts: For instance, you might discover that your insecurity is rooted in anger, fear, and loneliness. You can then use this information to create a healthier relationship with your partner that is built on trust, respect, and harmony.
4. Be patient with yourself
Regardless of whether you’re monogamous or in an open relationship, jealousy can be a difficult emotion to work through. It is important to remember that feeling jealous is normal and that it will pass over time. However, it’s also important not to let your jealousy fester without talking about it with your partner. This can cause resentment and distance in the relationship.
To begin working through your jealousy, it is best to be patient with yourself and not ruminate on it. Instead, focus on calming your body down and try to understand what you’re feeling. Try writing down your feelings and what triggers them. You may find that once you figure out what is causing your jealousy, you can take steps to address it.
Jealousy is usually most intense when your partner begins a new romance, but it should subside over time. Think of it as adding a new baby to the family: while it is a wonderful addition, it can still be stressful at times.
It’s important to know that your partner will never be able to eliminate all jealousy completely, but if you focus on being patient and communicating effectively, you can get through it together. Ultimately, the key to dealing with jealousy is communication and learning to trust that your partner will always treat you well.