Having an open relationship can be a healthy option for some couples. However, jealousy is a common problem that can make things difficult.
It’s important to remember that feelings of jealousy don’t necessarily mean that your open relationship isn’t working. Through honest communication and self-reflection, you can overcome this insecurity to find more harmony, trust, and positivity in your relationships.
1. Be open and honest about your feelings
While jealousy is a normal part of the emotional process, it can become problematic when it starts to control your thoughts and feelings. Whether your relationship is monogamous or open, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly about your feelings with your partner. This will help keep everyone happy and healthy.
For instance, if you’re feeling jealous of your partner spending time with someone else, don’t hide it from them. Instead, tell them how you feel and try to come up with solutions together. You can also talk about your feelings in therapy or by journaling, which is a great way to work through them.
It’s also important to be honest with your partner about your needs and wants in your relationship. This will help you set clear boundaries and create an open, respectful partnership. For example, you may want to discuss how often you can see each other or what your boundaries are regarding sexual and emotional intimacy.
Jealousy is a natural human emotion that can happen in any relationship. While it can be uncomfortable, it’s important to talk about it with your partner and find a solution that works for both of you. Trying to ignore or belittle your emotions will only make them worse, so don’t be afraid to express them. If you’re having trouble communicating with your partner, try journaling or using visualization techniques to get to the root of your feelings.
2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Jealousy is a complex emotion and dealing with it in an open relationship can take time. However, the good news is that jealousy can be a useful tool for generating boundaries and agreements that keep everyone safe. It can also be a sign that something is missing in your open relationship, whether it’s a need to feel loved unconditionally or a fear of abandonment. It is important to communicate your feelings honestly with your partner and listen to them without judgement.
One of the best ways to work through jealousy is to get to know your own triggers and what makes you jealous. For example, if you find yourself jealous when your partner spends time with other partners, you could try writing about your feelings or using a journal to process them. Another option is to try a visualization technique. For example, you can close your eyes and imagine your partner having a sexual encounter with someone else and observe the emotions that come up.
If you are still struggling with jealousy, it is important to ask for help. This may mean talking to a counselor or asking your partner for support. However, it is also important to remember that jealousy is normal and does not mean that your relationship is failing. In fact, it is a great way to assess your relationship and determine if you need to change some of the boundaries that aren’t working.
3. Don’t be afraid to say no
Jealousy can lead to irrational thoughts and assumptions about your partner, which can result in jealous behaviors. Having healthy communication with your partner and having a good understanding of your own needs are two key factors in keeping the jealousy at bay.
If your partner is doing something that is causing you to be jealous, then it’s a good idea to address it. However, it’s important to do so in a way that is not confrontational. Try to keep your discussions in private and calm and only bring it up when you have time to discuss it without interruptions.
It’s also helpful to find ways to distract yourself. This can be as simple as watching a movie or going for a walk. It can also be more long-term, like finding a new hobby or joining an online community of people in open relationships. Whatever it is, try to do it daily and you’ll find that your jealousy will decrease over time.
If you find that your jealousy is getting out of control, it’s a good idea to seek help from a professional. There are many resources available, including couples therapy and online courses, such as Together’s engaging course library of interactive video sessions. These tools can help you learn to control your feelings of jealousy and create a more fulfilling relationship.
4. Take care of yourself
Whether you’re in an open relationship or not, it’s important to take care of yourself. This means eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. It’s also a good idea to surround yourself with people who support you and your relationship goals.
When it comes to having an open relationship, it’s important to set clear boundaries with your partner from the start. This can help prevent feelings of jealousy down the road. For example, you might decide that you’ll only date one person at a time or that you won’t have sex with anyone outside of your primary relationship.
You should also discuss the nitty gritty details of your open relationship with your partner so that you’re both on the same page. This can include sexual and emotional boundaries, as well as how you’ll communicate with each other about your partners.
It’s also a good idea to find a therapist or coach who specializes in polyamorous relationships. They can help you understand the dynamics of a non-monogamy relationship and work with you to overcome your fears and insecurities. Plus, if you’re on Medicare, you can claim up to 20 visits per year. Talk to your doctor about setting up an appointment.